Fashion Month. Blerg.

I'm going to be mostly honest. This season has been pretty shit. And I never thought I would say this because fashion basically keeps me sane and entertained for a big portion of my life and it's free. I'm not paying to see all these shows online but there is just too damn much. I cannot keep up with all the shows. I haven't even looked at a quarter of the shows this month and some of the ones that I did I was just clicking the 'next' button to race to the final look.

Exceptions: Balenciaga. This is Alexander Wang's debut and it was surprisingly good. The jackets at the end were amaze, they looked like carpet from an art gallery lobby.

Stella McCartney was awful except for the shoes. Chloe was boring and there were some shitty looks too. Oh my god Givenchy was shit for me. The colours, the patterns, those printed sweatshirts he does EVERY SEASON. I get it, they sell really well, you're giving the customer what they want and it's paying off so what can I say really? Oh but did you read the review at Style.com? Was it Nicole Phelps? Ugh, whoever it was totally came in their pants.
Viktor & Rolf was sad. They're a shell of their former selves much like Chalayan and JPG. V&R and Chalayan both started out roughly about the same time, Chalayan maybe a few years before but both to me are late 90's early 00's at their most awesome and now that they're older and tied in with business partnerships and licences and perfumes they've gotta sell. It's sad. They had the bow device which is something they've played with many times and built them into the clothes in a surrealist way but it's just so uninteresting now that they have a customer. Who would've thought that having customers would ruin your business?

Rodarte. Wow. So bad. I think it may have started well or had some pieces that were cool but a lot of it looked like the real results of creating something while high. You know that artist myth of like, yeah I create my work when I'm high, and then you expect this exceptionally creative object. No. If you did start out smoking weed and then did like a tiny little bit of meth then this collection is what would come out of your mind.

Acne-Amaze. Not that some of the tailoring techniques haven't been done before but it was all done so well that I don't care.

Celine-It's a Monet.

Comme Des Garcons- I liked it. I thought the models were wearing high-top shoes and was like, yay, has she ever done high-tops before? I don't remember her ever doing high-tops. This is a first. Goddess. But no. They were low tops with matching socks but the soles are just a little thick and give great silhouette.

Vivienne Westwood-I liked it but I thought a lot of it looked way too wearable and I know that a lot of her stuff is wearable anyway but this time it was like, let's style it so it looks a little off-kilter (much like Prada. I loved Prada but come on, the styling was terrible. Like, I know, I'll pull the straps down on this dress. So dishev'd) and I'm just catching up with myself.

And Raf at Dior? Idk. I'm not posting any images. Some of these shit shows just aren't worth the right click save. You can all look them up on Style.com

Anna Wintour Running

Fashion memes are on the rise and I love it. 'Anna Wintour running' is my current fave.









And someone's dislike of Cara Delevigne and her ID cover.
(source: teacakes)







Best Fashion of 2012






What really stood out in 2012? I’m trying to think of anything that really grabbed my attention this year and I’m struggling. I don’t know if I have anything other than a gut-feeling to back this up but I believe there is too much fashion right now. And I don’t know where it can go other than down, like, it needs to nose-dive.

 I put most of the blame on the pre-collections which I can’t even be bothered looking at because most of them are garbage, watered down clothes that don’t deserve magazine coverage but do. There’s just so much pressure in the fashion industry now that’s being driven by money and it filters into every facet. The designers have to produce, what, a minimum of four collections a year now? If the idea of designing is to sell then how are we the customer supposed to keep up? I know that a lot of things these days are becoming frenetic and ADD-like and it’s something I’ve noticed being bandied about the media at the moment. I see it in say, a review of Grimes’ new album Genesis, I see how within the past three years blogging has shifted from-at times-considered, thought out articles or musings to rapid fire re-blogging of images and GIFs at Tumblr. I don’t want to give the impression that I’m lamenting old media or anything like that. I love Tumblr but when I type up something on Blogger I feel like a dinosaur or worse, that it’s a waste of time because people don’t want to spend more than a few seconds looking at something.

I also don’t remember ever receiving so many e-mails from online stores. I’ve been buying clothes from Asos for maybe three years now and I don’t think they ever sent me e-mails but now I get them daily. 50% off selected shoes, summer style, blah blah blah. It’s overwhelming how much I choose to expose myself to because after-all I opt in for this shit.

 Okay, I just realised I’m ranting so I re-read this and what I could have said about two paragraphs ago is that I’ve allowed myself to be so heavily bombarded by fashion media that I’m struggling to pick what really stood out to me and made a lasting impression.

 Update: I’ve been thinking about this overnight and one thing that stood out for me was the spring 2013 Miu Miu collection but not because I thought it was amazing-because it wasn’t. The reviews for this collection weren’t positive. It looked like a mish mash of past collections and seemed like Miuccia Prada was cherry picking things she liked from the past 5 years. Duster coats, fur, mid-riff. It was all too familiar and had an ‘oh if I must’ feeling to it. So the collection was pretty balls but then over the next couple of months images from the collection began sprouting up on Tumblr and the collection seemed to be picking up some traction. But what’s really topped it off is the ad campaign by Inez and Vinoodh. The ad has models Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes, Bette Franke, Tamara Weijenberg, Martha Hunt, and Malgosia Bela (there’s a lot of girls in this campaign, I may have missed one), just hanging out at some sort of beach house set and it is flawless.



Anne Hathaway's Vagina



Guuuuuuurl. I don't know what else to say really. I mean, she obviously had no intention of flashing the cat at the premiere of Les Mis-she's a married woman!-and a Tom Ford dress is always all about sex but damn bitch, you need to wrap that shit up. This isn't the Golden Globes.

And about that dress. Points for trying but no. If you're going to wear taffeta then go for something vintage like Oscar de la Renta or Balenciaga.

And about those shoes. I woulda saved em' for the bedroom or a gay sauna. And as for her vagine peeking out? I'm classy so you'll have to do a Google search. If you can't be fucked doing that, below is an artists impression.









Accessory Slut


Common Projects Achilles in motherfucking navy. My ovaries just prolapsed. They're $276 at Ssense but they charge $50 shipping. But get this, they have free shipping if you spend-wait for it-$500 and over. wtf. Play me out Oprah...







Nicolas Ghesquiere Leaves Balenciaga

I felt like I was shot in the stomach when I read this earlier today. I was like...whaaauuuuut...I mean if I was expecting major fashion news I wouldn't be surprised to see something like 'Lagerfeld Dead. Designer slips in bath' or maybe 'Formichetti dumped by Mugler un-shock horror'.

I know that everyone is saying this right now but I need to chime in too. Who in Egyptofunk hell is going to replace him? Alberta Ferretti? This is like Galliano and Dior where the designer has had such an incredible impact on the blueprint of the brand that the entire image has to be stripped back and re-started. For Balenciaga it's the undoing of 15 years of, Jesus Christ, real fashion.

So who will replace him? Who's unemployed right now? Hannah MacGibbon? Cedric Charlier? Nicolas should take a break, go horseback riding or scuba diving, travel a bit, get a tattoo, take drugs then come back and ghost design for Dress Barn.

I'll take ya brain to another dimension

Lanvin Spring Summer 2013 Review







Last season Alber Elbaz celebrated ten years at Lanvin. That anniversary collection was like a best of or a greatest hits. It wasn’t derivative but all the signatures that Elbaz has introduced during his tenure were there. Before his latest spring collection I wondered if there would be any major shift in the look because I felt the last collection was a great book-end to a decade of style. It would seem my hopes were dashed and I was a wee bit disappointed but it was just the fashion geek in me seeking a knockout collection. And I mean, it really was a knockout anyway because Elbaz’ collections are always beautiful and ultra luxe. Ugh, what the hell am I trying to say here? Okay, I was expecting a big change but there wasn’t one but it doesn’t matter anyway because I still loved the collection.

The tuxedos were in some ways a sad reminder of how utterly amazing he would’ve been had he not been fired from YSL all those years ago (thanks a bunch Tom Ford). And I say that because the tuxedos in this collection were amazing but they won’t get the credit they deserve because Lanvin aren’t primarily known for them. It’s their jewel tone and jewel smattered dresses that get all the attention.

There was definitely an experimental edge to some of the looks like the giant bows stamped down one side of a couple of dresses or the sleeveless jacket with a single white lapel flapping about. Apart from that it was business as usual. One sleeved tops, big shoulders, statement jewelry. My favourite look would have to be the black 80’s looking prom dress worn with high heel cowboy boots. And those boots have best seller written all over them. Most importantly, Elbaz creates desire. Here’s to another 10 years.

Inappropriate

Op shops (or thrift stores) I think are really no different from a shop that sells new things. I think they're equally hit and miss and you can come away empty handed from either. The only real difference I note is with op shopping you have to be a little more patient and a little more determined. If a 'normal' shop has something amazing for sale they'll put it under the spotlight and you can just grab it and take it home where as  op shops have a knack for putting everything you don't want in their window. 

Below are some photos from two separate shopping trips I took with my friend Nick. One was at Savers in Greensborough and the other was Chapel Street Prahran (the alleged 'fashion street' of Melbourne). I'll start with Chapel Street. We went in to many shops but I didn't take a lot of photos because a lot of stuff was shit. But I did take photos of things I thought were INAPPROPRIATE. We went to the Chapel Street Bazaar which always has something you want but it is overpriced. 






Left: Is that a golliwog? Are these even legal? Inappropriate. Then there's me. I mean what the fuck is going on here. Nick recommended I try on the hat. The blanket I'm clutching was around $30. It was a great colour and had tassels but it also had a stain and three small rips in it so I left it there with the hat.  


Left: Seriously you guys! Stop it. Right: This just made me laugh. What is this even for? 


Okay now all the formatting of this post is fucked and it won't do what I want. Above left is a fan I got from an op shop. It needs to be fixed but it's in amaze condish. And me outside Topshop. It was good but a lot of it was poorly made. I decided to play it safe and just bought socks like some dad who's trying to be cool but really doesn't want to be. 

The next set of photos are from Savers in Greensborough which is always a treat because I laugh so much at all the ugly and amazing shit they sell. 



Below: Honestly I can say I'd wear these floral cork wedge slides. They're very all you can eat buffet. 

 


Left: I think those green ones are frayed denim with subtle jewel embellishment.


Okay this cardigan was giving me Joan Allen in The Ice Storm realness.


Above: Seven whole dollars for those! That's quite reasonable.


Above: Old dead Italian man shoes. 

Why bother with laces? Why bother with the effort of placing your foot into an entire shoe? The fuck would I know. You could wear these with pants and no one would know the difference.



More dead peoples clothes. I can't remember the waist measurement of these jeans but I think it was somewhere in the 50 inch category. 56 I think. Nick is loving it.


I told Nick that they were totally from a dead person and he asked how I thought they died. I guessed diabetes.


Princess Di. Timeless

Oh my god. This portrait is a needlepoint or whatever. That skin coloured blanket draped across her makes it look like she ripped out her uterus. Alluring rite?

And a portrait of Daniel Day Lewis.




Bye haters

Kinder Aggugini Spring Summer 2013 Review



Are dungarees the new peplum? Probably not (unless of course Lanvin do one in raw silk and smattered with jewels) but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen them in a number of London shows. Kinder Aggugini’s version opened his nautical themed show with a playful print of birds, swordfish,stars, hearts and a ships wheel. There were brief dresses with deep side pockets, trim shorts paired with shirts that had contrasting plackets and perforated inserts. A secondary print continued the seaside trip with mermaids, turtles, clams, jellyfish, and octopus. Some of the looks toward the end were a little too America’s Cup yacht team however this is really trivial when you see the jackets. Aggugini’s tailoring is fucking good and his choice of fabric looked spot on. 

House of Holland Spring Summer 2013 Review



Above: Delicious



Below: Lauren Bacall is not impressed



Henry Holland’s spring 2013 collection had some very pedestrian looking clothes with little to no design. Not only were the prints ugly it’s like they gave him an excuse to design simple clothes. Even though most of the collection was shit there were a few really strong looks. The best was a sheer cropped blouse with a peter pan collar that had a matching skirt. It was both revealing and covered up at the same time (if that’s possible) making for a sexy, modern look. I don’t know why he didn’t investigate this idea more instead of making rubbish pants, shorts and dungarees. Overall it looked like he ran out of steam and his attempts at humour fell flat. What I initially thought was ‘Bitch’ printed on a t-shirt was actually ‘Bitchin’ but the ‘in’ was obscured by the models’ hair. I loved the 90's but I don't think this was a strong. If I remember correctly, grunge in the 90's was moody not boring.